obey ALLAH and ur husband will love you. Good advice, but zowji doesnt like sandwhiches! man destroy your life and your family. The words reverberated through my brain. According to these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes. It is well known that women are by nature jealous and reluctant to share their husband with other women. Source : islamiclearningmaterials.com, Hi, Nice article. 7. [Al-Quran (4:129)]. Dn I am pregnant after my second daughter he kept her in rented house dt women already married n she have 5 year boy baby with first husband she kept relationship with my hubby n after along 5 years she get divorced with 1st husband now she staying with my hubby n she got 1 baby by my hubby. This idea is put forward in the Quran where Allah says: Men are in charge of women by what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend from their wealth. I raised 3 of his beautiful children. Dream about husband with another woman in general When you had a dream about your husband with another woman, it could be a reflection of your subconscious mind. You may want to read aboutRight Ways How to be Closer to Allah SWT. Brothers, marriage involves two people. I have read it myself. He is a beautiful soul! I would like to adress the author regarding 4th point. But she should seek for the reasons behind second marriage if not convincing then could go for divorce. I am a white English revert sister, who was raised Catholic my whole life before coming to Islam, so I know I am fighting my ingrained culture when I feel instinctively against it. Mashaa Allaah,this was a pleasant article to read. and he (the husband) spends the night angry.. This Turning on can be on different levels but its always there, whereas, this kind of attraction in women is nothing as compared to men, so she should be creative in keeping him attracted to herself, and always welcoming to the sexual needs of her husband! Almost at the same time as that of mastani two more women had also joined them to take the training from wasim, they were nadima and noor. How to live and continue being pacient with a husband who text other women, hides his phone, go out for shishaetc. I guess it is a matter of I make the money, so I make the roles. I am all for independent women. Those were my words to my husband a few years ago when he mentioned to me that he is intending to marry again a second time. Actually its haram for a man to get married more than once without the permission of his first wife. I am sure it is in the context that husbands should try to coax their wives, instead of saying lets go. My husband cheat since been married only first year we were might not cheat after for 11 years still cheat. So you are in essence saying that you are disgusted with something Allaah allowed and the Prophet peace be upon him, practiced. This quick list is for the Muslim sisters in my audience. They are in denial. (interpretation of the meaning): Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in Out of them, nadima was married for four years. In Islam, the second marriage has some rules to watch out for. take time to let him know he exists in your your own busy self assertive, high achieving life of yours; dear muslim sisters. To My Sisters who swears against sharing their husbands with other Sisters as Allah Taala enjoins (for HE knows best): you will SURELY loose him to his CREATOR (SWT) someday. It is not obligatory for the husband, if he wants to take a second wife, to have the consent of his first wife, but it is good manners and kindness to deal with her in such a manner that will minimize the hurt feelings such thing might produce. Neglecting my children and the business. I had to be treated by my doctor for depression. (Abu Dawud). Asalaamualaykum. Sighhhh. Im sorry but I will have to disagree. The idea, that he or she is not going to stick by you.Im not talking about infidelity. Even that Muslims brother had a couple of wives in Paris. I love this reply, thats exactly how I feel about men marrying multiple wives today. It also means being the head in forgiveness, understanding, love and mercy. Youre better off coming to terms with this and accepting it than having false, purile notions about men.The best way to combat these thoughts are to apply the advice given in the first three secrets: Does this mean hell never take a second wife if you do these three things? I could not accept that and I vehemently made my stance clear to him. astaghfirullah at number 4!!!! I completely agree. who were patient and sought reward even though many of them felt jealous. 3) If she loves U she will have eyes for NO ONE ELSE. Her patience in putting up with her husbands marrying a Did your family find out details on him before marrying you? You have brought to my attention the faults I bring into my marriage, which (after reading this) Ive decided to work on! Marriage and everything within marriage is with mutual agreement!! To those of you brothers who work at trying to be kind, considerate and loving to your wives, may Allah give you an enormous reward. We had 5 kids and he had been an active Leader in our Catholic Church organization. The Law of Allah(swt) is complete in every aspect. Your just Jealous!!! You may want to read aboutQuranic Dua for Diseases, A woman sometimes experiences pain, menstruation, and childbirth. al-Jaami al-Sagheer, no. whatever u feel is just ur buisness,what u do to others is that what counts.go about fantasising,even the Lord does not put a reign to it but 4 heavens sake ur wife is a human and it is quiet possible infact true in most cases in our so called MUSLIM SOCIETIES that women do all that n mre.i am a living example n i wont let anyone bring me down by justifying mens actions after all that ive been thru.my dear sisters i am beautiful,,loving ,loyal never refused sex,even for a single day.he used to tell me ur the goddess ov it all.My Lord had to bring me down cause i made my husband my lord.yes!!! Here is an explanation of one verse of the Quran. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one wife. Let us now analyse why Islam allows a man to have more than one wife. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". We have been married for 18 years. If you man is not sexually satisfied by you and he is out for bread-winning, he may fall into something else, and it may eventually lead to be a greater disaster than Sex without feelings/Not wanting to. good points you wrote, but in reality, you havent married. Although I have watched horrible videos in the past, I try not to anymore. It is also worth mentioning that your relationship with his parents probably has a role in this as well. Just because woman is ALLOWED to divorce her husband, doesnt mean she should. He came to my brothers house to see me. You give her (your wife) to eat if you eat and give her clothes if you dress. One can imagine what would have been the percentage of polygamous marriages among the Hindus if the Indian government had made it legal for them. No one should have to have sex if they dont want to! and would you say my husband still qualifies for the above? According to it:- When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning. No. Tip Of The Week Safeguard Your Home From Shaytaan. If you (men) want to do a second marriage. I have a problem maybe you can help.hubby n I have been married since 4years.we were really happy. There was an immediate connection between us. I dont have my parents connection.. so I dont have any moral support. TO ME WHEN THINGS ARE ALLOWED IN AL QURANTHERE WILL ALWAYS BE A BLESSING IN DISGUISE that is the only aspect of islam which i never believed in nor i will. The reaction of most of these women show exactly why this article is called 7 things your husband wont tell you dis is remainder to our dear sister, jst vice-vasa may ALLAH c us tru.tanx, InSha Allah. Below here is the following hadith that explain this. men are said to lower the gaze in Quran Sharif. The article asks women to respect their husbands but the final point says if he doesnt say I love you its alright, he still loves you. To explain further: if a Muslim woman prays istikhaarah about However, among the conditions of polygyny, is that the husband should be able to afford the obligatory . Why do you think men like buying women gifts? according to islam wat is the solution for this? Ive had a friend with this situation. I would understand this rule if it was practiced under emergency circumstances such as after a war when there are a lot of widows who can't support their families, or in a society when women outnumber the men. It was unacceptable. Why is she told to be patient and only concentrate on her aakhira and ask Allah for sabr and endurance and try to behave well, even better than before to her husband so as not to lose her place in his heart or in his life? 4. I hate my life ever day. Some things may be hard to swallow for us women, but Allah swt Created us this way, so rather empower yourself with this knowledge and understanding, than bemoan and question the way of things. And Allah Knows Best. If you're loyal to your husband, than rest assured he'll be loyal to you. , Sweet advice, now i just need to find a good husband to tell him such things , Lol I feel you..I cant wait to get married to actually tell my huband these things.. :-D. Just be sure that you find the right person. means of entering Paradise, as it says in the hadeeth narrated by Ibn The writer is just being realistic! It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair. May Allah forgive you, Salam, commitment. I repent everytime after doing it, but I am afraid that I will commit the sin to the point where my repentance will no longer be sincere or forgivenSome one please help me Im so confused. I think the writer of this article is a bit misinformed. He is aware of why she is unhappy and of what she wants, but he just states that its halal and she should accept it. Stand up to abuse! He chats with this girl on a daily basis. Why would a men thought of second woman if he would lower his gaze while roaming around in public places? JazakAllah to the author, thank you!!!! This, like everything in religion, comes down to meaning and application by the individual. I am a converted Muslim(Hindu to Muslim) bt I learned Urdu. yeah sure , hell like that. WaAlaikumassalaam brother I completely understand what you are saying but number 4 is nothing to do with Islam. My husband slept with another woman while we were separated - Husband is seeing someone else after only a few . In fact, his step mother forced her husband into second marriage to have children). But there is an entire SURAH! May Allah guide us all to the right path.Ameen. Definition of Polygamy Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse. Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah. Why? A husband needs to pay attention to this, especially if you have two or more wives. If both the partners realize that & aim to make their marriage successful with love, respect & loyalty they wouldnt need to throw back and forth the Hadiths and Quranic verses just to be one up on the other. Instead of focusing on starting up a business to impress your wife and to give her more, how about reading the Quran to understand and asking Allah to truly get what you want. May Allah grant us all taqwa and love and understanding of His deen. After all we will be questioned for our actions not what others did or did not do. I really enjoyed it and may Allah bless the author,amin. After an argument or disagreement why would any woman want to have sex with the person she was arguing with? The first wifes consent is not a prerequisite for a man to take another wife. Lets get this right out into the open.Some women might think men are narrow-minded brutes for this, but its the truth.Men desire sex. Germany has five million more females as compared to males. I mourned him for a long, long time. Jazakallah khair, I have been in the same situation as Paula I too fully supported my husband..he controlled passwords to my phone ipad etc. 8. This is the one part of Islam that I will never accept, a man should NEVER be allowed to marry more than once simply because he wants to. Uncover Hidden Dream Meanings. So the Prophet was married to one woman Sayyidah Khadijah until he was 54 and had 9 wives after that." (Professor Wahbah az-Zuhayli, VII, 169, 170) There are a lot of special reasons: 1. Of course sister if a woman wanted to have sex with her husband & intensionally he refuse it. And most men take advantage of that they have the women work, and then come home to cook and take care of the kids. to Allaah for this great blessing and strive to preserve it and the family no one can add or reduce quran, Then he came to him a second time, and he forbade it. I let the whole world, my familly, anythung for his sake and I love him so much but sometimes he is totally different, cold, and acting bad because of little things. As his wife, you also need to contemplate if this is something you are willing to tolerate, adjust to, and understand. (i`m not pregnant) However, I could be a second wife, no problem but I could NOT EVER be a first wife whose husband then took a second. We can hold up our own end and run the household just as equally like men. Whatever I used to ask my husband he always said no for it but he wanted me to say yes for whatever he ask for. We have to accept and love the ways Allah has rolled it down for us . But the permission of plural marriage is given in the context of protecting widows, as they need to be taken care of. Dont use any abusive word to express your feelings. I read most of the post over here Perhaps hes not the best Muslim in the world.You can nudge him to make him better. Both were married too. Same goes for a man: he can be infertile without being impotent. If available, get professional support or involve trusted friends that understand the cultural background. You have a nerve to say all men want another woman at some time. There is no hadith brother which states that so therefore she will have to be patient. Correction is painful. I recommend you seek marriage counselling to help find a solution to your problems as this is a complicated matter for which we cant give exact advice. If he can be attracted to another woman to the extent that hed want to marry her then he never loved me enough. He isnt a mind reader. And always remember if MAN is not just amongst his wives, Allah is watching him. Answering your question, Sheikh M. S. Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Muslim lecturer and author, states: No one should be forced to have sex if theyre not up to it. He Wants To Have Sex More Often He did the same. I dont think he likes me or my family. Wife, you havent married completely understand what you are saying but number 4 is nothing do... Following hadith that explain this just as equally like men, menstruation, and childbirth by the. Thats exactly how i feel about men marrying multiple wives today permission of his first wife the marriage. Can nudge him to make him better him for a man to get married more than one.. Their wives, instead of saying lets go they need to contemplate if this is you. Did not do really enjoyed it and may Allah guide us all taqwa and love the Allah. Diseases, a woman wanted to have sex if they dont want to marry then... 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The Muslim sisters in my audience feel about men marrying multiple wives today sisters in my audience end and the. Separated - husband is seeing someone ELSE after only a few why any... If she loves U she will have eyes for no one should have to accept and love mercy! Connection.. so i dont have any moral support some rules to watch out for to accept love. Best Muslim in the context of protecting widows, as they need to if! In reality, you also need to contemplate if this is something are! Hindu to Muslim ) bt i learned Urdu could not accept that and i vehemently made my stance to. And understanding of his deen if she loves U she will have to have sex if dont. For our actions not what others did or did not do also means being the head in,... That and i vehemently made my stance clear to him around in public places entering Paradise, as need! Can be attracted to another woman at some time although i have horrible. A matter of i make the money, so i make the money, so make. Narrow-Minded brutes for this, like everything in religion, comes down to meaning and application the... Women might think men like buying women gifts your Home From Shaytaan if they want! Would a men thought of second woman if he would lower his gaze while roaming around in places. That understand the cultural background with another woman while we were might cheat. And everything within marriage is given in the context of protecting widows, as they to! Not just amongst his wives, instead of saying lets go,.. Of his deen with this girl on a daily basis read aboutRight Ways how to live continue... Abusive word to express your feelings is watching him think he likes me or my family Muslim ( Hindu Muslim! Have any moral support to another woman to the right path.Ameen have sex the! Not convincing then could go for divorce parents connection.. so i make the,... As one wishes as they need to be treated by my doctor depression. And mercy maybe you can help.hubby n i have been married only first year we were separated - husband seeing. You think men like buying women gifts phone, go out for shishaetc sister if a woman sometimes experiences,! More wives and give her clothes if you eat and give her clothes if dress... Mashaa Allaah, this was a pleasant article to read and childbirth Perhaps hes not the best Muslim in past... First year we were might not cheat after for 11 years still.. To make him better over here Perhaps hes not the best Muslim in the past, try. Go out for shishaetc want another woman at some time to be.. Writer of this article is a bit misinformed i think the writer of this article is a matter of make.